I’ve had 3 of my own babies (all blessings and thanks to Allah SWT.) The type of woman I am today, is totally different to who I was ten years ago. The knowledge I’ve acquired about pregnancy, birth and postpartum are nowhere near where they were when I first found out I was pregnant. I thought about writing this blog post so much, because over the course of the years, as I dissected and analyzed my birth outcomes, I always came up with a “I should have done X differently” and while some people may not think that this is helpful, I find that this is what makes me super useful to my clients as their doula and childbirth educator. I have come up with a running list of things that I KNOW will give better outcomes to people.
I don’t want to influence you to do things in your birth that don’t feel right for you. At the end of the day, this is my opinion, and mine alone. You are welcome to take on and look into whatever you resonate with. Some of the things I will talk about might be things that you’ve never heard of before and some may be super common sense. My job is to put it out there so moms can look into things and feel if these things would work for them. Obviously none of this is to be misconstrued as medical advice. Please speak to your birth providers to ensure you are making the best decisions for YOU.
First, and foremost, I would, personally, choose to birth with a midwife. I don’t think I am 100% sure on whether or not I would go the birth center route, or work with an independent midwife to have a home birth, but I definitely do know that I would birth my baby outside of the hospital system. Only because right now after the experience of birthing 3 of my own children, my beliefs around birth have changed. I can tell you that birthing within the hospital system, FOR ME, at this time, would not be my number one choice, unless it is under very specific circumstances.
I would keep the amount of scans I get to an absolute minimum. I am not opposed to scans, I fully recognize the risks in ultrasound, but I would still get a few done throughout my pregnancy for my peace of mind. I would probably get a scan done somewhere early in the beginning at around 16 weeks, and then again midway through my pregnancy for a growth scan to make sure everything with the baby is okay, and then maybe once more towards the end to make sure the placenta is not anywhere it’s not supposed to be. That’s about all I would get. Knowing myself, I would want that reassurance.
With how I feel today about birth and about how my previous pregnancies/deliveries went, and with all the knowledge I have acquired, I'm 100% sure that all my energy would go into really looking after my mental, physical and emotional well-being leading up to the birth of my baby.
I would work on learning how to relax because I know now that stress affects not just the course of the pregnancy, but also the outcome of the delivery as well. I would learn how to self regulate so that stress does not derail my pregnancy.I would work on my vagal tone, on my fight or flight responses to make sure that I am not in a constant state of stress or that I am not easily triggered. Labor thrives on oxytocin, and so, when we’re constantly stressed, the release of oxytocin is inhibited, adrenaline rises and that can directly affect the outcome of the labor. I would work on tuning into my intuition and my submission to Allah SWT.
I would keep tabs on my overall health; it’s a no brainer, but good food and movement are essential. It’s so easy to give into the tiredness that comes along with pregnancy and just want to lay on the couch all the time, and honestly, especially in the beginning, that is totally warranted! But definitely as the initial fatigue and nausea starts to go away, I would incorporate more movement into my pregnancy. I am usually pretty good about my food, I would probably just take it up a notch a tiny bit and keep processed food to an absolute minimum. There’s a great book by Lily Nichols called “Real Food for Pregnancy”, that would be a great place to start looking at in terms of guidelines on what to eat and what to avoid.
I would incorporate somatic movement into my routine, and I would also work on lymphatic drainage. I would work on my posture, get regular chiropractic sessions and definitely pay a visit to a pelvic floor PT. All of these things will help the baby get into the most optimal position for birth. Habit stacking is essential because, towards the end, when the fatigue and heaviness start to set back in, it is so easy to just get lazy and stop doing any of these things, so if you start early, and do things often, by the end it will just be an essential part of your day that you can’t live without. It’s okay if you miss a day here or there, but just make sure it doesn’t become a habit to drop these self care things.
I would properly plan for my postpartum. I got better at doing this with each pregnancy, but with my last pregnancy, I thought I was doing a good job then got slammed with a home move and several other big life changes that realllyyyy took a toll on my physical and emotional health. I think had I been a bit more prepared, and built a support network around me, it would have been much easier to navigate postpartum. I would work on asking for help, and more importantly, accepting help. I’m so bad at this. But pregnancy and postpartum are not a time to wear your superhero cap and think you can do it all yourself. I would slow down and take all the help I can get.
I would find a pregnancy circle with women I can relate to and bond with. This is something I didn’t do with any of my pregnancies. For one, it’s great to be going through the experience of pregnancy with other women, and sharing your struggles and accomplishments, but also, once your baby is born, how awesome will it be if you can already have a handful of families that you KNOW have babies your kid’s age, that would be up for planning play dates and doing fun things? That’s priceless!
I would 100% take a better childbirth education class. During my first pregnancy, I thought I was taking a good one, and it turns out it wasn’t a great fit. I would seek an independent training that is not tied to a hospital or institution. I would have definitely benefited from a class that went over basic things like labor, interventions, how to navigate and prepare for labor, amongst other things.
Hindsight is 20/20 like they say, and I think the most important thing is to work on all the emotional baggage. I would work on my fears, release them. I would allow myself to dig deep to figure out what is truly getting in my way of having the birth of my dreams, connect more with Allah SWT and spend more time in reflection, gratitude and prayer.
How about you? If there is one thing you could have done differently during your pregnancy, what would it be?
About Salam Birth Services
Hey there, I'm Lana, the human behind Salam Birth Services! I'm a Chicago-based birth photographer, doula and childbirth educator covering mainly the Western, Northwestern and Southwestern suburbs, but feel free to reach out if you live outside those borders to enquire about my availability.
You can find me on Instagram , or you can get in touch here by sending a message!
